Red light .... Delete!

His profile picture was of a muscular guy. The guy that struggled to squeeze into the restaurant booth where we first met had the same face but um ... that's where the similarity ended. Aha!
Since I joined a dating site, I've lumped my experiences into three categories:

• Aha! - not dangerous or porno-fixated; but not truthful either.
• Red light - scam artist, porno-fixated or definite liar
• Oh Lord! - we have nothing at all in common; please don't wink at me again!
• Exhale - perfect match for me

So, what kind of online dating experience have you had? Whether you're a man or woman, if you've ever joined a site, I'll bet you could rattle off a doozy of a story huh?
And so could I. Whooee! I guess because I just recently discovered just how strong the online dating scene is, it feels new. But it's really just the decrease in stigma that makes it look like it's just emerging. Now that it's not taboo to make it known that you're going online to meet people, more people are doing it. Peck, peck, peck on the keyboard, a monthly fee, and you're all set to post your profile with hopes of finding Mr./Mrs. Right.
But buyer beware - online dating has swaggered effortlessly into a meat market where you need to be even more careful of who you are connecting with and who is connecting with you. Don't let those well-organized profiles fool you. Everyone doesn't portray themselves truthfully. And for that reason it's imperative that you exercise the same caution you would if you were meeting someone in person for the first time.
As a woman, I have noticed a few red lights worth mentioning. But men, please feel free to apply these to your own experiences.

1. Don't fall for an online "quickie": For two weeks this guy sent me poems, and tried his best to butter me up as "the one," before he lowered the boom with the $$$$ question. Definite money scam! He didn't get me but did somebody else fall for it? Red light ... Delete!

2. Watch out for copycat scams: I couldn't believe it when another guy contacted me - different name but same lifestory and then nearly the same sob story. Really? Same guy? Don't know. Red light ... Delete!

3. Keep your foot on the brakes: Don't rush a relationship or let yourself be rushed. Since you are meeting people who most likely aren't connected to anyone you know, the idea is to give yourself time to get to know them. Take it slow. You'll have a much better chance of spotting the b---s---.

4. Beware of connections who want to rush to exchange personal email or phone info: In my opinion the benefit of online dating is the relative anonymity. Sites like Match.com and Eharmony are designed with your best interests at heart. You can email, IM, and even make a phone call through the site so that your personal information remains private. Your connection doesn't have to know any of your personal information until you release it. So, take advantage of that.

5. Make your intentions clear and stick by them: This will defintely weed out the game-players. Some guys will hand out their telephone numbers freely. When I've made it clear that I'm not comfortable giving out mine because we haven't communicated enough yet, they drop like flies! Saves me the trouble. ;)

6. Marriage? Ok what did I miss? Sounds romantic yes; and could it really happen? I'm sure it could. But with most cases, those allusions to marriage may just be a pedal-to-the-medal road to sex. Just follow your true instincts. If it barks and lifts its leg .... well, you know the rest.

7. Ask questions. I thought giving my email would be okay with one guy until five minutes into an IM when he asked me if I had a webcam so that I could see a picture of him. Umm ... isn't that your picture you posted on your profile? No response. Red light .... Delete!
Busy working and writing, I like the idea of making connections online as an addition to meeting people in person. Now I don't consider the guy I described at the beginning of this article a red light. We had a nice dinner and then went to the movies. It was a great date. He was my aha! moment. But when the red lights flash, I hit the brakes. If online dating or just meeting new people is for you, enjoy your experience and be safe.

P.S. I haven't exhaled yet! ;)